Secrets of a Well-Rested Woman
Do you know that women are twice as likely as men to have difficulties falling asleep? Says Dr. Khan, board-certified sleep physician at Crozer-Keystone sleep center, Pennsylvania. For years it is believed that men are more likely to suffer from sleep apnea or sleep-disordered breathing than women, but that difference balances out as women get older. According to Dr. Khan's research studies and presentation in Nov 2011, post-menopausal woman catch up to men in the rates of sleep apnea. In this case, we have some concern about the social circumstances of women reporting snoring.
The good news is, women are more likely than men to come to the sleep center with complaint about insomnia. "We see many women who are frustrated and looking for help" says Dr. Khan in his presentation.
While sleep disorders affect both genders, women often struggle with getting a good night's rest. Some do have carry-over issues that keep them from a good night's sleep. That's why it's important for women to be aware of the particular conditions that might affect them and learn how they can be treated.
Insomnia, or the inability to sleep disproportionately affects women. "Another reasons for this are that hormones throughout d life cycle of the woman from pregnancy to menopause can also affect women sleep pattern," says Dr. Khan. Women who are pregnant can suddenly develop insomnia during the third trimester of pregnancy and can continue on well beyond 32-36 wks of pregnancy.
Since post-partum depression can be linked to insomnia, it is important for every new mother to try develop healthy sleeping habit. Hot flashes during pre-menopause and menopause is another major culprit in insomnia. In my practice as psychotherapist, in treating insomnia, we try to get the cause of the problem and address it on case by case basis. Is all about evidence based practice; we use the widely researched technique like the cognitive behavioral therapy CBT to try to confront misconceptions about sleep needs and work on sleep hygiene to address any factors that are prohibiting the patient from getting a beautiful good night rest. Be responsible, HEALTH MATTERS !
Dr. Fenibo Fenny Braide, participated in LMH Coalition Symposium
in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Nov 20, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Substance Abuse in the Elderly
SUBSTANCE ABUSE IN THE ELDERLY: is a 'Power Point' Training presentation by Dr. Fenny Braide, at Greater Metropolitan Healthcare Institute, Baltimore, Maryland.
In this training, my main focus will be the impact of substance abuse in the aging population. Like adults of any age, older people experience problems with addiction too. Sometimes these problems may occur when a person is older or may have been a concern for many years.
Substance abuse in the elderly can lead to disturbance thinking, poor judgment, cognitive and affective impairment, social withdrawal or fatal. Older adults are at higher risk for substance abuse for various reasons, new data from Food & Drug Administration shows that drug abuse among the elderly is increasing in the United states.
For the last two decades increasing evidence exists for the extremely high prevalence of co morbidity of psychiatric and substance Use disorders. Studies reveal that over half of diagnosed schizophrenics have a diagnosed Alcohol Dependency Disorder (Zuckoff & Daly, 1999). There is extensive documentation that the dual-diagnosed population has markedly poorer clinical outcomes and a higher utilization of inpatient services. These findings have led to the awareness of an urgent need for effective models of treatment for this co-occurring disorders population.
After working with the elderly population with substance abuse and dual diagnosis disorders for over eighteen years, and not making substantial headway in healing them with standard scientific (secular) psychotherapy (such as cognitive behavior therapy), I tried something else; I injected spirituality into the mix. And used psycho-spiritual approach and found out that the intervention yields a better result.
DEFINITION
Substance abuse can simply be defined as a pattern of harmful use of any substance for mood altering purposes. In other words, the use of illicit drugs or abuse of prescription or over-the-counter drugs for the purpose other than those for which they are indicated or in a manner or in quantities other than as directed is simply called abuse.
Generally, when most people talk about substance abuse, they are referring to the use of illegal drugs. However, most professionals in the field of drug abuse prevention argue that any use of ILLEGAL is by definition abuse. Theoretically, almost any substance can be abused---be it Alcohol, prescription drugs, over-the-counter medications, inhalants, solvent, even coffee and cigarettes and all that used to harmful excess. The fact of the matter is, any use of illegal substance is potentially addictive and can cause severe negative health problems.
CASE STUDY OF MS WILLIAMS
Substance abuse among the elderly is becoming a growing problem, Ms. Williams is not alone.
Ms Williams has had problems of substance abuse since in her late twenties. For years she denied having problem with drinking alcohol. Even though drinking binges were standard followed by period of sobriety, her inevitably returned to her addictive ways at a later age. At 65, Ms Williams is on several prescription medications, some of which should not be taken with alcohol. Her children long ago are burned out from trying to persuade her to get help but she declined. Ms. Williams was also diagnosed with Alzheimer's and depression before her 64th birthday. Ms. Williams continues to drink alcohol against doctor's advice. Her children have given-up believing that you can not "teach an old dog new trick."
This case study illustrates what has been called one of the fastest growing health problems in the aging population in the United states. As we have more and more people living longer, more and more of them are abusing drugs and alcohol in their later years. Most times caregivers often overlook substance abuse among older adults because CAREGIVERS don't know what to look for or mistakenly assume that older adults cannot be successfully treated. Again, caregivers and loved ones may give excuse for an older relatives substance abuse as a result of grief or loss or reaction to boredom. In some cases family members may not want to confront the elderly, fearing they will offend or anger them or get written off in the Will.
A Resident is a primary responsibility of the caregiver. It is very important that caregivers have full knowledge as well as medical history of their residents.
RECOGNIZE SYMPTOMS OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE IN THE ELDERLY
Elderly people who have history of substance abuse use it to alter mood and state of awareness. Sometimes detecting substance abuse in the elderly can be difficult because presenting symptoms are often those that are commonly associated with aging itself. As a caregiver, it your responsibility to observe the behavior of Residents. Residents who present with symptoms of self-neglect, falls often, socially withdrawn, and aggressive to self and others should be screened for substance abuse.
TREATMENT
Although there is no magic bullet treatment, when substance abuse is found, the elderly should be treated as aggressively as their younger counterparts, with slow careful detoxification and the use of some form of group therapy like alcohol anonymous group - AA. However, my approach to healing substance abuse disorders is didactic. I teach the client what we know about substance abuse disorder and how to treat it. I use CBT / spirituality as dual approach to empower the client with optional ideas and essentially leave the client to deal with the healing process. So far, positive feedbacks and the efficacy of this intervention is overwhelming.
REFERENCE: Substance abuse / Substance addiction of America; Zuckoff & Daly, 1999, Substance Abuse Issues.
Private practice: Evidence-based or empirically supported treatment (that is, treatment that has shown efficacy in research trials) with clients who has substance abuse problems.
For training purposes only. (c) All rights reserved.
Fenny Braide, PhD
Psychotherapist / Healthcare Consultant
Former IBHC Lead clinician
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Compare and contrast Behavioral Sciences
Compare and contrast Behavioral Sciences and Social Sciences
About me:
Before I get down to my topic let me share with you that providing care to clients with psychological / psychiatric problems is challenging and rewarding at the same time. I consider myself lucky and honored to be a part of this process. Helping individuals in the times of their personal crisis, whether emotional, psychological or behavioral is what really feeds my passion in psychotherapy. Some of my clients are brought to the Outpatient clinic of bizarre behavior, agitation, psychosis, suicidal ideation, as well as emotional distress.
My main Topic:
The term behavioral sciences is often confused with the term social sciences. Even though these two broad areas are interrelated and study systematic processes of behavior, they differ on their level of scientific analysis of various dimensions of behavior.
Behavioral sciences such as Sociology, Anthropology, or Psychology in which the actions and reactions of human and animals are studied through observation and experimental methods like Individual-psych, Society-soc, and Culture-anthro. The key knowledge here is that Behavioral sciences abstract Empirical data to investigate the decision process and communication strategies within and between organisms in a social system like psychology, social neuro science (ie,decision sciences + communication sciences), etc.
Where as in contrast, social sciences provide a perceptive--hypothetical framework to study the process of a social system through impacts of social organization on structural adjustment of individual and of groups. This field of study includes sociology, economics, history, public health, political science, anthropology and counseling.
Take mental illness for example:
Anyone can have mental illness or emotional distress at any stage of life. Babies, school aged children, teenagers, adults and older adults can have a mental illness. Mental illness happens to all races every ethnic groups rich or poor.
Mental illness is an illness that interferes with how we experience and think about life; how we feel about ourselves and others and how we behave and adapt to change, stress and other life events. The illness can be caused by physical problems with nervous system or the brain, it can be caused by stress, an accident or major physical illness. Lead poisoning, poor eating habits and stressful living environments are example of things that can contribute to mental illness. Sometimes mental illness can also be genetic.
Quantitative Clinical Research. All rights Reserved.
Dr. Fenibo Braide
Posted on the web: July 3, 2011
About me:
Before I get down to my topic let me share with you that providing care to clients with psychological / psychiatric problems is challenging and rewarding at the same time. I consider myself lucky and honored to be a part of this process. Helping individuals in the times of their personal crisis, whether emotional, psychological or behavioral is what really feeds my passion in psychotherapy. Some of my clients are brought to the Outpatient clinic of bizarre behavior, agitation, psychosis, suicidal ideation, as well as emotional distress.
My main Topic:
The term behavioral sciences is often confused with the term social sciences. Even though these two broad areas are interrelated and study systematic processes of behavior, they differ on their level of scientific analysis of various dimensions of behavior.
Behavioral sciences such as Sociology, Anthropology, or Psychology in which the actions and reactions of human and animals are studied through observation and experimental methods like Individual-psych, Society-soc, and Culture-anthro. The key knowledge here is that Behavioral sciences abstract Empirical data to investigate the decision process and communication strategies within and between organisms in a social system like psychology, social neuro science (ie,decision sciences + communication sciences), etc.
Where as in contrast, social sciences provide a perceptive--hypothetical framework to study the process of a social system through impacts of social organization on structural adjustment of individual and of groups. This field of study includes sociology, economics, history, public health, political science, anthropology and counseling.
Take mental illness for example:
Anyone can have mental illness or emotional distress at any stage of life. Babies, school aged children, teenagers, adults and older adults can have a mental illness. Mental illness happens to all races every ethnic groups rich or poor.
Mental illness is an illness that interferes with how we experience and think about life; how we feel about ourselves and others and how we behave and adapt to change, stress and other life events. The illness can be caused by physical problems with nervous system or the brain, it can be caused by stress, an accident or major physical illness. Lead poisoning, poor eating habits and stressful living environments are example of things that can contribute to mental illness. Sometimes mental illness can also be genetic.
Quantitative Clinical Research. All rights Reserved.
Dr. Fenibo Braide
Posted on the web: July 3, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ANGRY?
According to Kate Miller, anger is a natural part of human condition, but it isn't always easy to handle anger. When people don't handle it well the harm it cause can be visible and invisible.
Some people mask their anger, others explode with rage. Because anger is a chronic condition a habit of resentment surfaces over and over again. This is very interesting says Miller, she went on to identify ten styles of anger and how the condition affects human behavior. There is what she called anger avoidance, sneaky anger, paranoid anger, sudden anger, shame-based anger, deliberate anger, addictive anger, habitual anger, moral anger, and hate anger. All affects the way we live and relate to others.
Any of these styles can also be visibly or invisibly harmful to the way make decision. Lets take a look @ hate anger and shame-based anger for instance. HATE is a hardened anger. It is a nasty anger style that happens when someone decides that at least one other person is totally evil or bad. Forgiving the other person seems impossible. Instead, the hater vows to despise the offender. Sometimes Hate starts with envy--jealousy and then gradually moves to anger. If, doesn't get resolved it becomes resentment and then a true hatred that can go on indefinitely.
Haters often think about the ways they can punish the offender and they sometimes act on those ideas. These people (the haters) feel they are innocent victims. They create a world of enemies to fight and attack them with vigor and enthusiasm. Haters can't let go or get on with life. They are often bitter, not content, frustrated and their lives become mean---small and narrow. CHANGE YOUR WAYS !
The Shame-Based anger group are people who need a lot of attention or very sensitive to criticism. They sometimes exhibits grandiose characteristics because of oversensitivity and poor self-image. The slightest criticism sets off their own shame. They lack leadership skills and cannot survive in a democratic system. Unfortunately, they don't like themselves very much either. So, when someone ignores them, disagrees with them or say something negative about them, they take it as proof that the other person dislikes them as much as they dislike themselves. That makes them really angry and wants to lash out. They avenge with rage "You made me awful, I'm going to hurt you back." These people get rid of their shame by blaming, criticizing, and ridiculing others. Their anger helps them get revenge against anybody they think shamed them. They avoid their own feelings of inadequacies by shaming others (sound familiar...?). They usually end up attacking people they love as well as close associates. So my friend, PLEASE CHANGE YOUR WAYS! YES YOU!
Dr. Fenibo Braide, Psychotherapist / Consultant
Former IFSI Clinical Administrator and Lead Clinician
Posted on the web: June 6, 2011
Some people mask their anger, others explode with rage. Because anger is a chronic condition a habit of resentment surfaces over and over again. This is very interesting says Miller, she went on to identify ten styles of anger and how the condition affects human behavior. There is what she called anger avoidance, sneaky anger, paranoid anger, sudden anger, shame-based anger, deliberate anger, addictive anger, habitual anger, moral anger, and hate anger. All affects the way we live and relate to others.
Any of these styles can also be visibly or invisibly harmful to the way make decision. Lets take a look @ hate anger and shame-based anger for instance. HATE is a hardened anger. It is a nasty anger style that happens when someone decides that at least one other person is totally evil or bad. Forgiving the other person seems impossible. Instead, the hater vows to despise the offender. Sometimes Hate starts with envy--jealousy and then gradually moves to anger. If, doesn't get resolved it becomes resentment and then a true hatred that can go on indefinitely.
Haters often think about the ways they can punish the offender and they sometimes act on those ideas. These people (the haters) feel they are innocent victims. They create a world of enemies to fight and attack them with vigor and enthusiasm. Haters can't let go or get on with life. They are often bitter, not content, frustrated and their lives become mean---small and narrow. CHANGE YOUR WAYS !
The Shame-Based anger group are people who need a lot of attention or very sensitive to criticism. They sometimes exhibits grandiose characteristics because of oversensitivity and poor self-image. The slightest criticism sets off their own shame. They lack leadership skills and cannot survive in a democratic system. Unfortunately, they don't like themselves very much either. So, when someone ignores them, disagrees with them or say something negative about them, they take it as proof that the other person dislikes them as much as they dislike themselves. That makes them really angry and wants to lash out. They avenge with rage "You made me awful, I'm going to hurt you back." These people get rid of their shame by blaming, criticizing, and ridiculing others. Their anger helps them get revenge against anybody they think shamed them. They avoid their own feelings of inadequacies by shaming others (sound familiar...?). They usually end up attacking people they love as well as close associates. So my friend, PLEASE CHANGE YOUR WAYS! YES YOU!
Dr. Fenibo Braide, Psychotherapist / Consultant
Former IFSI Clinical Administrator and Lead Clinician
Posted on the web: June 6, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Mentally ill and the Lack of Love
MENTALLY ILL AND THE LACK OF LOVE
Part culled from Nijapolitics Forum 2011
In this encore piece Dr. Osuji summarized his teaching on love. He defines mental health as the capacity to love ones self and love other persons. According to Dr. Osuji, a person is sick to the extent that he does not love his self and other persons. A sick person needs to be healed; love is what heals people. A healed person loves his self and all selves.
HUMANITY HAS ONE MAJOR DISEASE: THE INABILITY TO LOVE
Human beings, black and white, man and woman, adult and child have a disease. Until they are healed of that disease there will be no peace and happiness in this world.
The disease is people’s lack of love for themselves and for one another. To love ones self and other selves is to be healthy. Love is health.
As a result of their lack of love for themselves, human beings are evil to each other; they harm each other rather unnecessarily; those who harm themselves are sick. Their sickness emanates from their lack of love, which, in turn, emanates from the belief that they have separated selves housed in bodies.
Spirit is love and union; when we love we have turned to spirit and have worth. Love is what gives us worth. Until we love all persons all that we are doing is deceiving ourselves with false worth.
LOVE AND RESPECT ALL PERSONS
When you see a human being do one thing: overlook what he looks like, black or white, man or woman, adult or child, and love and respect him. Love the spirit of God in all persons; respect all people.
You must totally love, respect and accept every human being you see for whether you know it or not despite their outward animal appearances they are the children of God; they contain divinity in them.
Whether you know it or not this world is a dream; each person is involved in his own dream, a segment of the collective dream we are all engaged in. The world is a dream; a dream is fantasy in which the dreamers, as Sigmund Freud observed, try to gratify their desires that they could not satisfy in the real world of spirit.
In our real state, spirit, we are unified. We desired separation, a fantasy that could not be granted in spirit and dream that we are separated; in dream we satisfy the fantasy that we are separated from each other and from the whole, aka, God. Each person’s behavior is the specific manner he gratifies his fantasy that he is separated from God, other persons and his real self.
Fantasy is not reality; what is satisfied in fantasy has not been satisfied in reality. In reality we remain as God created us, unified spirit; but in dream we seem separated and housed in bodies.
It is impossible to separate from unified spirit; all that we do on earth is dream. Dreams and fantasies are allowed for God is perfect freedom; he gave his children his perfect freedom; they have perfect freedom to dream that they are separated from him and from each other. What they cannot, however, do is actually separate from God, from reality (for reality is the eternal union of God and his children). It is impossible to separate from God and from our real selves.
What we do on earth are actions in dreams; what are done in dreams have not been done in reality. Therefore, what is done in dreams need to be overlooked so as to experience the reality of unified self. In unified self we experience peace and joy.
To overlook dreams is what is meant by forgiveness. You must forgive whatever you did in the past and forgive all people what they did in the past for they were done in dreams. In the present, still dream, love all people.
When you love all people you give yourself a happy dream and give those around you a happy dream. Forgiveness is close to love but is not love.
In real love we are in spirit and are unified. But on earth we are separated and in body; in body we believe ourselves different from each other and have different interests. In body we pursue our different interests and in the process hurt other persons. These are dream hurting of people.
There is a law of cause and effect in heaven and on earth. In dreams if you hurt other persons you have inflicted dream pain on them but pain to them nevertheless. What you cause other persons you cause you; what you give to other persons you give to you. If you give others pain you must give you pain; if you give other persons joy you must give you joy.
What you do to other persons other persons must do to you. If you love other persons other persons will love you; if you hate other persons other persons would hate you; if you ignore other persons other persons would ignore you.
When you love people you give them peace and joy hence give you peace and joy. If you want to create a happy dream for you and for those around you then love them.
DR OSUJI ON AMERICA’S FUTURE
"...I have often wondered why civilizations rise and fall. As a voracious reader I have necessarily read the reasons given for the fall of civilizations, including those given by Edward Gibbons in his study of the rise and decline of the Roman Empire.
I believe that civilizations rise on a paradigm and when that paradigm is no longer functional, and they refuse to discard it and keep operating on it as if it represents eternal truth they fall. When a guiding paradigm of a civilization proves dysfunctional and is no longer able to help the civilization function and maintain its self, the civilization must change or fall. If the civilization does not change it rots internally and perhaps a little push by external forces makes it to collapse."
Rome, for example, was built on slavery. Romans exploited the labor of their conquered people. North Africans and Germans constituted the bulk of their slaves. Perhaps, initially they could get away with this travesty of justice for we need to have a class not directly involved in producing food to engage in intellectual and other activities that make civilization possible; this was especially necessary in a society where machinery was minimal. Initially it made some sense to use other people’s labor to produce food for others. But at some point it became apparent that the slaves were oppressed and common sense dictated that that institution be changed.
Instead, all kinds of rationalizations were produced to justify slavery. The continued oppression of slaves made it necessary for the slaves to rebel and the result was the collapse of the Roman Empire and other empires based on slavery that refused to abolish slavery.
America was built on slavery and has found it difficult to make transition to other forms of social organization. Though it has officially abolished the institution of slavery it still condones discrimination against non-white folks. Clearly if this practice continues it would contribute to the fall of the American empire.
As minorities reach a critical mass...by the end of this century they would become more than half of the population… they would rebel and tear down those who oppress them.
However, since they do not have the skills to run a high powered civilization, and white America refuses to allow them to acquire such skills, the American civilization may decay, just as the Roman Empire decayed, fall into a dark age. This new Dark Age will last until after a few generations when a new civilization arises from its ashes. This needs not happen.
If minority persons are fully incorporated into the American empire and given the right education clearly when they become the majority of the population the empire would not fall.
America must make transition to an altruistic, loving civilization if it is to avoid the fate of earlier civilizations that reached a zenith and then declined. (Considering that America is currently running on borrowed capital we would not be surprised to wake up one day and hear that it has collapsed. If this seems improbable consider that we did not know that the former Soviet Union was internally rotten until it collapsed.)
The rulers of America like it if you told them that they are great folk and all is well in the land. They, like all of us, are egos and egos like to be praised. If you want Americans, and all people to love you then praise them. On the other hand, if you said unflattering things about Americans they would see you as anti-America and would hate you. They would make sure that you are punished, to the extent of making sure that you do not get a job in America, they may even kill you.
The ego is very proud and when it feels degraded seeks vengeance. Americans seek vengeance and bear grievances; they are the arch ego type. Yet the truth about them must be said despite their egoistic revenges. Truth speakers are not deterred by the howling of the ego. The ego is powerless against love, against spirit.
IDEALISM IS NOT LOVE
"...When I was a teenager folks used to tell me that my expressions do not tally with the general public’s expressions. I thought about that feedback and came to the conclusion that they felt that I was always seeking idealistic solutions to perceived problems facing society, whereas they sought realistic solutions. For example, I would insist on loving every person whereas they would tell me that some persons needed to be hated. There is no doubt that I was idealistic in a realistic world."
Some idealism is unrealizable. If, for example, you want to fly you clearly cannot do that since we do not have wings. Neurotic idealism is escape from the real world; it is negation of the real world and its practices. Ideals do not exist in our imperfect world.
In youth one has idealism, wish for perfection. That wish for perfection is generally driven by ones imperfect body and ones wish to have a perfect body. In adulthood one realizes that no matter how much one wishes for a perfect body and world that ones body and the material world would always be imperfect. That is idealism, the wish for perfection, is impossible of realization in an imperfect world.
Continued wish for ideals in adulthood disturbs ones peace and the peace of society. The wish that things be different from the way they are gives one physical tension and gives society conflict .Most wars are caused by actors pursuing idealized states of people and society.
If you give up seeking ideals you literally feel calm; in fact, your head would feel like there are no thoughts in it for it is wishes and ideals that lead one to think obsessively.
The neurotic idealist sees his bodily self correctly and rejects it. He sees his body as nothing, as food for worms and hence nothing important and reject it. Having rejected his body he uses his imagination to construct an ideal body and wants to become that purely mentally constructed body. He wants to become ideal, wants other people to become ideal, wants social institutions to become ideal and wants everything in the world to become ideal. He uses his ideal standards, fictions, to judge himself and other people and social institutions and naturally find them not good enough. He makes life miserable for himself and for all people by evaluating them with ideal standards and seeing all as not good enough.
People want to be accepted as they are, and to not always be compared to impossible ideals and perfections and rejected. As Carl Rogers taught us, if you want people to be happy and peaceful accept them in an unconditionally positive manner; conversely, if you want the people around you to be miserable then compare them to imaginary ideals.
If we use love to guide us we may indulge in some initial idealism, but we quickly realize that ideals cannot be realized in the human body, in the world of space, time and matter, for ideals are conceptual and, as such, can only exist outside matter, space and time; ideals and perfection can only exist in the mind not in matter.
NO HUMAN BEING CAN CHANGE OTHER HUMAN BEINGS
It is not possible for one human being to change another human being. God himself cannot change a human being. Jesus Christ, despite all the hoopla surrounding his teachings, did not change other persons. This is because God is perfect freedom and gave each of his children perfect freedom. Freedom means that the individual can do as he or she likes. No other person can tell another person what to do. All that a person can do is make suggestions on what constitutes appropriate behavior and leave it to other persons to decide to accept such suggestions or not.
The individual should concentrate on changing himself. It is even doubtful that he can change himself for behavior is largely rooted in genes (information written into his body before he was born).
When an individual guides his behavior with love, he can model a loving person for all people. Other persons can then choose to copy his behavior.
A loving person is characterized by peace and joy. If you love you and all people you bring peace to all the people that you encounter. When a person is no longer pursuing egoism, separation and false importance but loves all, he is flexible and less rigid and is peaceful and happy.
CONCLUSION
Human beings are self-aware animals. They are aware of their finitude. They know that eventually they would die, rot and smell to high heaven. Appraising the valuelessness of their bodies they feel depressed, feel as if they have no existential worth. They then try to give themselves false worth by masquerading around as very important persons.
Delusion emanates from human beings effort to make a worthless physical self-seem to have existential worth. When individuals accept themselves as they are, without pretensions that their bodies have worth, they become healthy. To accept one’s self is to love one’s self. A healthy person loves his self and loves all people.
It is love for all human beings that give people some worth; the pretended worth they attempt to get from presenting themselves as important merely disturb their peace.
We must restructure society and civilization so that each of us loves his self and all of us and participates in doing that which serves all of us.
A healed humanity is a humanity that loves all people and constructs a society where each individual’s interests are served. We are not talking about socialism or capitalism, democracy or dictatorship; we are talking about a new paradigm of society, a love based society.
I am talking about a new human being, the person who sees other persons as one with him and loves all persons as he loves himself, a person who engages in work (that he has aptitude in and has interest in doing) that serves all people’s needs.
PS: With this piece I have essentially summarized what I have said in many contexts and must now leave it at that. If you enjoy the type of information I bring to the world please buy my books. Ref. Thomas Osuji
Dr. Fenibo Braide is a Consultant / Psychotherapist
Psychiatric Clinic, Philadelphia
Part culled from Nijapolitics Forum 2011
In this encore piece Dr. Osuji summarized his teaching on love. He defines mental health as the capacity to love ones self and love other persons. According to Dr. Osuji, a person is sick to the extent that he does not love his self and other persons. A sick person needs to be healed; love is what heals people. A healed person loves his self and all selves.
HUMANITY HAS ONE MAJOR DISEASE: THE INABILITY TO LOVE
Human beings, black and white, man and woman, adult and child have a disease. Until they are healed of that disease there will be no peace and happiness in this world.
The disease is people’s lack of love for themselves and for one another. To love ones self and other selves is to be healthy. Love is health.
As a result of their lack of love for themselves, human beings are evil to each other; they harm each other rather unnecessarily; those who harm themselves are sick. Their sickness emanates from their lack of love, which, in turn, emanates from the belief that they have separated selves housed in bodies.
Spirit is love and union; when we love we have turned to spirit and have worth. Love is what gives us worth. Until we love all persons all that we are doing is deceiving ourselves with false worth.
LOVE AND RESPECT ALL PERSONS
When you see a human being do one thing: overlook what he looks like, black or white, man or woman, adult or child, and love and respect him. Love the spirit of God in all persons; respect all people.
You must totally love, respect and accept every human being you see for whether you know it or not despite their outward animal appearances they are the children of God; they contain divinity in them.
Whether you know it or not this world is a dream; each person is involved in his own dream, a segment of the collective dream we are all engaged in. The world is a dream; a dream is fantasy in which the dreamers, as Sigmund Freud observed, try to gratify their desires that they could not satisfy in the real world of spirit.
In our real state, spirit, we are unified. We desired separation, a fantasy that could not be granted in spirit and dream that we are separated; in dream we satisfy the fantasy that we are separated from each other and from the whole, aka, God. Each person’s behavior is the specific manner he gratifies his fantasy that he is separated from God, other persons and his real self.
Fantasy is not reality; what is satisfied in fantasy has not been satisfied in reality. In reality we remain as God created us, unified spirit; but in dream we seem separated and housed in bodies.
It is impossible to separate from unified spirit; all that we do on earth is dream. Dreams and fantasies are allowed for God is perfect freedom; he gave his children his perfect freedom; they have perfect freedom to dream that they are separated from him and from each other. What they cannot, however, do is actually separate from God, from reality (for reality is the eternal union of God and his children). It is impossible to separate from God and from our real selves.
What we do on earth are actions in dreams; what are done in dreams have not been done in reality. Therefore, what is done in dreams need to be overlooked so as to experience the reality of unified self. In unified self we experience peace and joy.
To overlook dreams is what is meant by forgiveness. You must forgive whatever you did in the past and forgive all people what they did in the past for they were done in dreams. In the present, still dream, love all people.
When you love all people you give yourself a happy dream and give those around you a happy dream. Forgiveness is close to love but is not love.
In real love we are in spirit and are unified. But on earth we are separated and in body; in body we believe ourselves different from each other and have different interests. In body we pursue our different interests and in the process hurt other persons. These are dream hurting of people.
There is a law of cause and effect in heaven and on earth. In dreams if you hurt other persons you have inflicted dream pain on them but pain to them nevertheless. What you cause other persons you cause you; what you give to other persons you give to you. If you give others pain you must give you pain; if you give other persons joy you must give you joy.
What you do to other persons other persons must do to you. If you love other persons other persons will love you; if you hate other persons other persons would hate you; if you ignore other persons other persons would ignore you.
When you love people you give them peace and joy hence give you peace and joy. If you want to create a happy dream for you and for those around you then love them.
DR OSUJI ON AMERICA’S FUTURE
"...I have often wondered why civilizations rise and fall. As a voracious reader I have necessarily read the reasons given for the fall of civilizations, including those given by Edward Gibbons in his study of the rise and decline of the Roman Empire.
I believe that civilizations rise on a paradigm and when that paradigm is no longer functional, and they refuse to discard it and keep operating on it as if it represents eternal truth they fall. When a guiding paradigm of a civilization proves dysfunctional and is no longer able to help the civilization function and maintain its self, the civilization must change or fall. If the civilization does not change it rots internally and perhaps a little push by external forces makes it to collapse."
Rome, for example, was built on slavery. Romans exploited the labor of their conquered people. North Africans and Germans constituted the bulk of their slaves. Perhaps, initially they could get away with this travesty of justice for we need to have a class not directly involved in producing food to engage in intellectual and other activities that make civilization possible; this was especially necessary in a society where machinery was minimal. Initially it made some sense to use other people’s labor to produce food for others. But at some point it became apparent that the slaves were oppressed and common sense dictated that that institution be changed.
Instead, all kinds of rationalizations were produced to justify slavery. The continued oppression of slaves made it necessary for the slaves to rebel and the result was the collapse of the Roman Empire and other empires based on slavery that refused to abolish slavery.
America was built on slavery and has found it difficult to make transition to other forms of social organization. Though it has officially abolished the institution of slavery it still condones discrimination against non-white folks. Clearly if this practice continues it would contribute to the fall of the American empire.
As minorities reach a critical mass...by the end of this century they would become more than half of the population… they would rebel and tear down those who oppress them.
However, since they do not have the skills to run a high powered civilization, and white America refuses to allow them to acquire such skills, the American civilization may decay, just as the Roman Empire decayed, fall into a dark age. This new Dark Age will last until after a few generations when a new civilization arises from its ashes. This needs not happen.
If minority persons are fully incorporated into the American empire and given the right education clearly when they become the majority of the population the empire would not fall.
America must make transition to an altruistic, loving civilization if it is to avoid the fate of earlier civilizations that reached a zenith and then declined. (Considering that America is currently running on borrowed capital we would not be surprised to wake up one day and hear that it has collapsed. If this seems improbable consider that we did not know that the former Soviet Union was internally rotten until it collapsed.)
The rulers of America like it if you told them that they are great folk and all is well in the land. They, like all of us, are egos and egos like to be praised. If you want Americans, and all people to love you then praise them. On the other hand, if you said unflattering things about Americans they would see you as anti-America and would hate you. They would make sure that you are punished, to the extent of making sure that you do not get a job in America, they may even kill you.
The ego is very proud and when it feels degraded seeks vengeance. Americans seek vengeance and bear grievances; they are the arch ego type. Yet the truth about them must be said despite their egoistic revenges. Truth speakers are not deterred by the howling of the ego. The ego is powerless against love, against spirit.
IDEALISM IS NOT LOVE
"...When I was a teenager folks used to tell me that my expressions do not tally with the general public’s expressions. I thought about that feedback and came to the conclusion that they felt that I was always seeking idealistic solutions to perceived problems facing society, whereas they sought realistic solutions. For example, I would insist on loving every person whereas they would tell me that some persons needed to be hated. There is no doubt that I was idealistic in a realistic world."
Some idealism is unrealizable. If, for example, you want to fly you clearly cannot do that since we do not have wings. Neurotic idealism is escape from the real world; it is negation of the real world and its practices. Ideals do not exist in our imperfect world.
In youth one has idealism, wish for perfection. That wish for perfection is generally driven by ones imperfect body and ones wish to have a perfect body. In adulthood one realizes that no matter how much one wishes for a perfect body and world that ones body and the material world would always be imperfect. That is idealism, the wish for perfection, is impossible of realization in an imperfect world.
Continued wish for ideals in adulthood disturbs ones peace and the peace of society. The wish that things be different from the way they are gives one physical tension and gives society conflict .Most wars are caused by actors pursuing idealized states of people and society.
If you give up seeking ideals you literally feel calm; in fact, your head would feel like there are no thoughts in it for it is wishes and ideals that lead one to think obsessively.
The neurotic idealist sees his bodily self correctly and rejects it. He sees his body as nothing, as food for worms and hence nothing important and reject it. Having rejected his body he uses his imagination to construct an ideal body and wants to become that purely mentally constructed body. He wants to become ideal, wants other people to become ideal, wants social institutions to become ideal and wants everything in the world to become ideal. He uses his ideal standards, fictions, to judge himself and other people and social institutions and naturally find them not good enough. He makes life miserable for himself and for all people by evaluating them with ideal standards and seeing all as not good enough.
People want to be accepted as they are, and to not always be compared to impossible ideals and perfections and rejected. As Carl Rogers taught us, if you want people to be happy and peaceful accept them in an unconditionally positive manner; conversely, if you want the people around you to be miserable then compare them to imaginary ideals.
If we use love to guide us we may indulge in some initial idealism, but we quickly realize that ideals cannot be realized in the human body, in the world of space, time and matter, for ideals are conceptual and, as such, can only exist outside matter, space and time; ideals and perfection can only exist in the mind not in matter.
NO HUMAN BEING CAN CHANGE OTHER HUMAN BEINGS
It is not possible for one human being to change another human being. God himself cannot change a human being. Jesus Christ, despite all the hoopla surrounding his teachings, did not change other persons. This is because God is perfect freedom and gave each of his children perfect freedom. Freedom means that the individual can do as he or she likes. No other person can tell another person what to do. All that a person can do is make suggestions on what constitutes appropriate behavior and leave it to other persons to decide to accept such suggestions or not.
The individual should concentrate on changing himself. It is even doubtful that he can change himself for behavior is largely rooted in genes (information written into his body before he was born).
When an individual guides his behavior with love, he can model a loving person for all people. Other persons can then choose to copy his behavior.
A loving person is characterized by peace and joy. If you love you and all people you bring peace to all the people that you encounter. When a person is no longer pursuing egoism, separation and false importance but loves all, he is flexible and less rigid and is peaceful and happy.
CONCLUSION
Human beings are self-aware animals. They are aware of their finitude. They know that eventually they would die, rot and smell to high heaven. Appraising the valuelessness of their bodies they feel depressed, feel as if they have no existential worth. They then try to give themselves false worth by masquerading around as very important persons.
Delusion emanates from human beings effort to make a worthless physical self-seem to have existential worth. When individuals accept themselves as they are, without pretensions that their bodies have worth, they become healthy. To accept one’s self is to love one’s self. A healthy person loves his self and loves all people.
It is love for all human beings that give people some worth; the pretended worth they attempt to get from presenting themselves as important merely disturb their peace.
We must restructure society and civilization so that each of us loves his self and all of us and participates in doing that which serves all of us.
A healed humanity is a humanity that loves all people and constructs a society where each individual’s interests are served. We are not talking about socialism or capitalism, democracy or dictatorship; we are talking about a new paradigm of society, a love based society.
I am talking about a new human being, the person who sees other persons as one with him and loves all persons as he loves himself, a person who engages in work (that he has aptitude in and has interest in doing) that serves all people’s needs.
PS: With this piece I have essentially summarized what I have said in many contexts and must now leave it at that. If you enjoy the type of information I bring to the world please buy my books. Ref. Thomas Osuji
Dr. Fenibo Braide is a Consultant / Psychotherapist
Psychiatric Clinic, Philadelphia
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Active Listening Therapeutic skill
RECOGNIZE UR SKILLS
Active listening therapeutic skill is been proven to be effective in treating somatic symptom like depression or suicidal ideation. Sometimes when our loved ones are seriously ill or experiencing emotional crisis, it is difficult to figure out what to do to help save the situation. Try listening skill, it can save a soul, save your relationship, save your marriage and can even save your promotion in the work place. Most people don't have the empathetical skill to listen. Active listening does not mean being quiet; it means giving your (client) or loved one your complete attention. Active listening in clinical term means validating your trust in a therapeutic process. Learning how to listen is like a gift of dignity to (a client) or your loved one. It is very important we listen to one another in any setting.
TECHNIQUE
Active listening does not mean telling your loved one that u know what he or she is going to say---just listen and demonstrate respect for (his or her) thoughts.
Active listening means paying close attention while your (client) or loved one devises a solution to his or her problem.
Active listening means never be confrontational and do not argue with your (client) or loved one.
Active listening means sharing the burden and acknowledging the pain of your (client) or loved one.
Remember, your body language and demeanor will say a lot about you, so pay attention by holding appropriate eye contact for a comfortable period of time while ur (client) or loved is speaking to you.
Occasionally ask open ended questions, do not let your mind wander to your own personal concerns, nor look around the room - stay focused!
Do not walk away without hearing ALL what he or she has to say, because (his or her) solution may have real chance of working to help the situation.
ACTIVE LISTENING IS CBH APPROVED THERAPEUTIC TECHNIQUE IN THE STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA
Try it, Apply it, it works !
Dr.Fenny Braide / Psychotherapist
Posted online: March 1, 2011
Active listening therapeutic skill is been proven to be effective in treating somatic symptom like depression or suicidal ideation. Sometimes when our loved ones are seriously ill or experiencing emotional crisis, it is difficult to figure out what to do to help save the situation. Try listening skill, it can save a soul, save your relationship, save your marriage and can even save your promotion in the work place. Most people don't have the empathetical skill to listen. Active listening does not mean being quiet; it means giving your (client) or loved one your complete attention. Active listening in clinical term means validating your trust in a therapeutic process. Learning how to listen is like a gift of dignity to (a client) or your loved one. It is very important we listen to one another in any setting.
TECHNIQUE
Active listening does not mean telling your loved one that u know what he or she is going to say---just listen and demonstrate respect for (his or her) thoughts.
Active listening means paying close attention while your (client) or loved one devises a solution to his or her problem.
Active listening means never be confrontational and do not argue with your (client) or loved one.
Active listening means sharing the burden and acknowledging the pain of your (client) or loved one.
Remember, your body language and demeanor will say a lot about you, so pay attention by holding appropriate eye contact for a comfortable period of time while ur (client) or loved is speaking to you.
Occasionally ask open ended questions, do not let your mind wander to your own personal concerns, nor look around the room - stay focused!
Do not walk away without hearing ALL what he or she has to say, because (his or her) solution may have real chance of working to help the situation.
ACTIVE LISTENING IS CBH APPROVED THERAPEUTIC TECHNIQUE IN THE STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA
Try it, Apply it, it works !
Dr.Fenny Braide / Psychotherapist
Posted online: March 1, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Psycho-dynamic marital therapy
Psycho-dynamic marital therapy
What! Abeg simplify the word, okay: Lets call it meaningful thought of a successful marriage
For the couple who are seeking much from marriage---as most couples do, fall in a pattern of conflict that is inevitable, at least until they have yield up some of their excessive demands of each other and learned the pattern of give and take. People marry for different reasons. The union is beautiful and complex, fun and enjoyable when do it right with the right partner.
But before you say I do, it would be helpful to recognize the areas in which marital conflict most commonly develops. In any form of marital therapy, the rapid identification of these areas can get husband and wife started on the process of understanding their interactions and worries towards modification and change. Various studies have suggested that common marital complaints voiced by husbands and wives involve the following factors in descending order of universality like: money, sex, child-rearing, inlaws, pregnancy and child-bearing, infidelity, neglect, communication, violence, and drug and alcohol abuse. Ask yourself if your choice is right, avoid pressured and family imposed marriage (get to know your partner for at least 90 days) before you say I do. Remember, the slightest mistake in a relationship that will lead to sudden breakup can take you years back. So take a moment to re-think the time, energy and the resources you (will) or already invested in the relationship, and please be open minded and give room for negotiation when necessary.
For instance in Nigeria traditional marriages and weddings takes place almost on a weekly basis, sometimes as young as 14 to 18 yrs old are exposed to the union without full knowledge of its meaning. Let me emphasize that there are fads and trends in marital complaints and the situation varies from community to community. However, In my days (say 20 yrs ago) parents expect a promising young man to acquire a reasonable amount of knowledge with minimal resources before he considers marriage. But these days, young couples are getting married and then moving-in with parents saying (Hi Mom & Dad Am Home!). Friends, despite our cultural differences this new trend is creating problems in families. In South America---same situation, in Italy (certain areas) the husband's mother is even designated to fix dinner (can u imagine!). In the United states divorce rate is so high because of excessive demand and expectations of both parties.
My recommendation: In Nigeria Govt should introduce a mandatory pre-marital counseling with a (certified professional) to define a committed couple relationship before YOU say that magic word - I do.
GOODLUCK !
Dr. Fenibo Braide
Consultant @ The Psychiatric clinic of Philadelphia
Posted on the web: January 17, 2011
What! Abeg simplify the word, okay: Lets call it meaningful thought of a successful marriage
For the couple who are seeking much from marriage---as most couples do, fall in a pattern of conflict that is inevitable, at least until they have yield up some of their excessive demands of each other and learned the pattern of give and take. People marry for different reasons. The union is beautiful and complex, fun and enjoyable when do it right with the right partner.
But before you say I do, it would be helpful to recognize the areas in which marital conflict most commonly develops. In any form of marital therapy, the rapid identification of these areas can get husband and wife started on the process of understanding their interactions and worries towards modification and change. Various studies have suggested that common marital complaints voiced by husbands and wives involve the following factors in descending order of universality like: money, sex, child-rearing, inlaws, pregnancy and child-bearing, infidelity, neglect, communication, violence, and drug and alcohol abuse. Ask yourself if your choice is right, avoid pressured and family imposed marriage (get to know your partner for at least 90 days) before you say I do. Remember, the slightest mistake in a relationship that will lead to sudden breakup can take you years back. So take a moment to re-think the time, energy and the resources you (will) or already invested in the relationship, and please be open minded and give room for negotiation when necessary.
For instance in Nigeria traditional marriages and weddings takes place almost on a weekly basis, sometimes as young as 14 to 18 yrs old are exposed to the union without full knowledge of its meaning. Let me emphasize that there are fads and trends in marital complaints and the situation varies from community to community. However, In my days (say 20 yrs ago) parents expect a promising young man to acquire a reasonable amount of knowledge with minimal resources before he considers marriage. But these days, young couples are getting married and then moving-in with parents saying (Hi Mom & Dad Am Home!). Friends, despite our cultural differences this new trend is creating problems in families. In South America---same situation, in Italy (certain areas) the husband's mother is even designated to fix dinner (can u imagine!). In the United states divorce rate is so high because of excessive demand and expectations of both parties.
My recommendation: In Nigeria Govt should introduce a mandatory pre-marital counseling with a (certified professional) to define a committed couple relationship before YOU say that magic word - I do.
GOODLUCK !
Dr. Fenibo Braide
Consultant @ The Psychiatric clinic of Philadelphia
Posted on the web: January 17, 2011
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