Psycho-dynamic marital therapy
What! Abeg simplify the word, okay: Lets call it meaningful thought of a successful marriage
For the couple who are seeking much from marriage---as most couples do, fall in a pattern of conflict that is inevitable, at least until they have yield up some of their excessive demands of each other and learned the pattern of give and take. People marry for different reasons. The union is beautiful and complex, fun and enjoyable when do it right with the right partner.
But before you say I do, it would be helpful to recognize the areas in which marital conflict most commonly develops. In any form of marital therapy, the rapid identification of these areas can get husband and wife started on the process of understanding their interactions and worries towards modification and change. Various studies have suggested that common marital complaints voiced by husbands and wives involve the following factors in descending order of universality like: money, sex, child-rearing, inlaws, pregnancy and child-bearing, infidelity, neglect, communication, violence, and drug and alcohol abuse. Ask yourself if your choice is right, avoid pressured and family imposed marriage (get to know your partner for at least 90 days) before you say I do. Remember, the slightest mistake in a relationship that will lead to sudden breakup can take you years back. So take a moment to re-think the time, energy and the resources you (will) or already invested in the relationship, and please be open minded and give room for negotiation when necessary.
For instance in Nigeria traditional marriages and weddings takes place almost on a weekly basis, sometimes as young as 14 to 18 yrs old are exposed to the union without full knowledge of its meaning. Let me emphasize that there are fads and trends in marital complaints and the situation varies from community to community. However, In my days (say 20 yrs ago) parents expect a promising young man to acquire a reasonable amount of knowledge with minimal resources before he considers marriage. But these days, young couples are getting married and then moving-in with parents saying (Hi Mom & Dad Am Home!). Friends, despite our cultural differences this new trend is creating problems in families. In South America---same situation, in Italy (certain areas) the husband's mother is even designated to fix dinner (can u imagine!). In the United states divorce rate is so high because of excessive demand and expectations of both parties.
My recommendation: In Nigeria Govt should introduce a mandatory pre-marital counseling with a (certified professional) to define a committed couple relationship before YOU say that magic word - I do.
GOODLUCK !
Dr. Fenibo Braide
Consultant @ The Psychiatric clinic of Philadelphia
Posted on the web: January 17, 2011
